Excerpt from Chapter 9, Tally: An Intuitive Life, All Things That Matter Press
PJ was working on a piece called Love. He hoped to have it ready for the New York Small Press Book Fair.
… This booklet took a long time to type and print…. PJ asked me to type it and I did, very slowly, because I found myself opposed to the words and ideas.
I told him, “It’s too full of generalizations and I don’t like generalizations.”
He answered that he had ended it with a new definition of love. I went back to work, curious.
At the age of 72 or 74, the writer began to work on the idea of the future of love, after feeling and professing a strong delusion of love and romance for more than fifty years. People were not fooled, after all. Not because the delusion was not the greatest invention of its time, in all the world, but because the concept could not stand the helter skelter of civilization. As the idea of romantic love became more popular, and valuable, it was exploited and the exploiters made it sex and made it ridiculous for even greater profits.
He engaged in “ensearch,” his word for studying his stream of consciousness, for the answer. This study of his stream of consciousness would lead to universal truths.
A year and a half after this, he came to a new understanding: the world’s hope for survival depends on a new concept—amiable affection.
He said he had not been able to know the true worth of a woman when he was young and so full of hormones he could not relate except sexually. He had not been able to know or love a woman until he was older, “past middle age and with a heart condition, practically a eunuch,” although he remained emotionally and mentally sexually active; only then had he discovered the value of knowing a woman.
This gave me an amazing sense of relief in our relationship.